I am a husband who nags my wife about the “speck” in her eye while failing to see the “log” in my own.

I am a husband who nags my wife

about the “speck” in her eye while failing

to see the “log” in my own.

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not realize the log that is in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, ‘Brother, let me remove the speck that is in your eye,’ while you yourself do not see the log that is in your own eye? You hypocrite! First remove the log from your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye” (Luke 6:41–42).

 

 

 

 

As I meditate on these words from Luke 6:41–42, I desire to receive the lesson that is given through them.

 

(1)   As I meditated on Luke 6:41–42, the very first thing I did was to look up and read the parallel passage recorded in Matthew 7:3–5, and then compare it with today’s main text, Luke 6:41–42.

 

(a)    In doing so, I became aware of one difference: In Luke 6:42 it is written, “you do not see the log that is in your own eye …”, whereas in Matthew 7:4 it is written, “Behold, there is a log in your own eye ….”

 

(i)               So, I tried to supplement this difference by forming the sentence this way: ‘Behold, there is a log in your own eye, yet you do not see the log that is in your own eye …..’

 

(2)   Next, I looked into what the words “speck” and “log” mentioned in today’s passage, Luke 6:41–42, mean exactly in the original Greek.

 

(a)    Here, the Greek word for “speck” is κάρφος (karphos).  Its physical meaning is “a small and light particle, a piece of straw, dust, or a wood splinter.”  Its symbolic meaning is “a very minor flaw, defect, or blemish” (Internet).

 

(i)               Historical and cultural background: Carpenters, farmers, and ordinary household people in first-century Galilee would have been well acquainted with the discomfort of chaff entering the eye or a wood fragment lodging under the eyelid.  Jesus, who grew up in Joseph’s carpentry workshop, explained spiritual danger through such everyday discomforts.  The image of a person with a beam stuck in his eye stepping forward to provide eye treatment to someone else would clearly have appeared ridiculous to the audience of that time (Internet).

 

·        Echoes of the Old Testament: Although the word karphos (καρφος, speck) itself does not appear in the Septuagint—the earliest Greek translation of the Hebrew Old Testament—this parable evokes passages in which chaff or straw symbolizes something worthless or fleeting (Job 21:18; Ps. 1:4; Isa. 40:24).  Such a background further emphasizes how trivial a brother’s fault is when compared with one’s own unresolved sin (Internet).

 

(b)   When I think about the symbolic meaning of the Greek word κάρφος (karphos)—translated as “the speck”, meaning “a very minor flaw, defect, or blemish”—I am reminded of something I wrote some time ago: “Love is not looking for faults in others; rather, it is seeking to cover them.”

 

(i)               The reason this writing came to mind is probably that, from my perspective, the scribes and the Pharisees seemed to be looking for Jesus’ flaws, mistakes, or what they considered to be sins, in order to find evidence (or an excuse) to accuse Him (Lk. 6:7).

·          In fact, Scripture says that the scribes and the Pharisees were watching to see whether Jesus would heal the man with the withered right hand on the Sabbath—“watching closely” (Lk. 6:7), or “watching Him” (Mk. 3:2).  Here, the Greek word translated as “watching” in Mark 3:2 is παρετήρουν (paretēroun), the imperfect past tense of παρατηρέω (paratēreō), which means “to observe,” “to watch closely,” or “to keep under surveillance.”  This tense indicates that they were continuously staying near Jesus, scrutinizing Him with hostile intent in order to find grounds for an accusation against Him (Lk. 14:1; 20:20) (Hochma).

 

(ii)             One of the reasons I came to write, “Love is not looking for faults in others; rather, it is seeking to cover them,” is that, within my own marital relationship, I kept seeing my wife’s “faults.”

 

·          The reason I placed a question mark—“faults (?)”—after the word is that these are faults only from my subjective perspective, and may not actually be faults from an objective point of view. Haha.

 

-           For example, over nearly 30 years of marriage, two of my wife’s behaviors have consistently bothered me. Haha.  Those two behaviors are: (1) leaving the lights on without turning them off, and (2) leaving the bedroom door slightly open instead of closing it all the way. Haha.

 

n   Even as I write this and laugh, the reason I laugh is because these are truly very trivial matters—not even deserving to be called a “speck” (which symbolically means “a very minor flaw or defect”)—and yet I myself cannot understand why these two behaviors bothered me so much. Sigh. Haha.

 

(iii)           I was reminded of the latter half of 1 Corinthians 13:5, the well-known “love chapter”: “… it does not think evil.”  The Korean Bible translates this as, “love does not think evil,” while the English NIV Bible translates it as: “it keeps no record of wrongs.”

 

·          The original Greek meaning of this phrase is: Love does not calculate, record, or keep in mind another person’s evil, harm, or wrongdoing; it does not engrave evil in the heart, harbor resentment, or nurture a desire for revenge (Internet).

 

-           In my case, within my marriage, my wife’s very minor habits are certainly not “evil,” and it is absolutely not the case that I harbor resentment or thoughts of revenge over them. Haha.  However, my problem is that I recorded these trivial matters in my head (my memory). Sigh.  So even now, if my wife leaves the light on and goes to work, or comes into the bedroom from the kitchen without closing the door completely, or leaves the bathroom door open, I get up and turn off the light and close the doors. Hahaha.

 

n  This is why I am a “tiring-style” husband. Sigh. Haha.  I honestly do not understand why things that could simply be let go still bother me so much.

 

(iv)            I was reminded of the biblical statement, “Love covers offenses”: (1 Pet. 4:8) “Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins.”  (Prov. 10:12) “Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers all offenses.”

 

·          Here, the word “offenses” refers to the meaning of the Greek word (in 1 Peter 4:8) and the Hebrew word (in Proverbs 10:12), which is “sin” (sin, transgression).  However, the “specks” I see in my wife from my subjective perspective—forgetting to turn off the lights or not closing the door all the way—are absolutely not sins!  And yet, even while saying that I love my wife, I repeatedly pointed out her “specks” without covering them [or perhaps because I was unable to do so(?)].

 

-           Proverbs 17:9 also came to mind: “Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but whoever repeats a matter separates close friends.”

 

n  I say with my lips that I love my wife, but in reality, as a husband who repeatedly brings up my wife’s “specks,” I am not pursuing love at all. Sigh, sigh.  This is my sin.

 

(c)    Here, the Greek word for “log” in Luke 6:41–42 is δοκός (dokos). Its literal meanings include: “a large wooden beam,” “a timber beam,” “a log that supports boards in a house,” “a plank that supports a structure,” “a grotesquely protruding pillar,” and (figuratively) “a massive beam that completely blocks someone’s vision (like a plank used in building a house) (Internet).

 

(i)               Historical background of building practices: First-century Palestinian houses typically had flat roofs supported by large wooden beams spanning from wall to wall, over which smaller poles, reeds, and mud were laid.  These wooden beams were essential structural elements; without them, a house would literally collapse. Jesus’ audience—familiar with carpentry work (Mk. 6:3) and exposed daily to construction timber—would have immediately understood the size and importance of the dokos (δοκός, log) (Internet).

 

·          Theological Themes:

 

Hypocrisy: The log symbolizes unconfessed, enlarged (serious) sin. Jesus’ rebuke, “You hypocrite!” (Mt. 7:5; Lk. 6:42), connects this parable to the Pharisaic attitude that prioritizes outward appearance over inward integrity (Mt. 23:25–28).

 

Judgment and Mercy: This passage does not abolish moral discernment but teaches its proper use. Believers can obey the command, “Judge with righteous judgment” (Jn. 7:24), only after honest self-examination.

 

Sanctification: Removing the log symbolizes repentance. If personal sin remains unresolved, spiritual vision becomes clouded, making it impossible to effectively serve others (Internet).

 

(ii)             Below is a short devotional reflection I wrote on October 22, 2024, under the title “I Am a Hypocrite with a Sick Heart”: “If I see the speck in another person’s eye while failing to see the log in my own, and if I criticize (judge) that person even in my heart while saying with my lips, ‘Because I care about you, I will remove the speck from your eye,’ then I am a hypocrite with a sick heart” (Ref.: Mt. 7:1–5).

 

·          On the same day, October 22, 2024, I wrote another short devotional under the title “I Must First Realize That There Is a Log in My Own Eye and Remove It”: “As a hypocrite with a sick heart who failed to see the log in my own eye and saw only the speck in another’s eye, I must first realize that there is a log in my own eye and remove it. Only then will I see clearly and be able to remove the speck from the other person’s eye (Ref.: Mt. 7:3–5).”

 

-        Also on October 22, 2024, I wrote another short devotional under the title “Even If I Want to Help Remove the Speck from Another’s Eye…”: “Even if I want to help remove the speck from another person’s eye after seeing clearly, if that person cannot see the log in their own eye and instead regards the speck in my eye as a log, that person will not only reject my help but will also judge me, even if only in their heart (Ref.: Mt. 7:1–5).”

 

n   On October 5, 2018, I wrote another short devotional under the title “I Should Be Seeing the Log in My Own Eye Rather Than the Speck in Another’s Eye…”: “Without even realizing what is in my own eye, how is it that I can see so clearly the speck in the eye of the brother or sister right in front of me?  And so I want to make that speck visible to them in any way possible.  Not only that, without knowing my own place, I even say that I will remove the speck from their eye” (Mt. 7:3–4).  What would that brother or sister say to me then?  Would they say, ‘Remove the log from your own eye first’?  Or would they say, ‘There is not a speck in my eye but a log’?  Whether it is a “log” or a “speck,” realizing that what is in my own eye must come first—before what is in another’s—is what matters most.  After that, if I remove not only the log but even the speck from my own eye, I will be able to see more clearly.”

 

(3)   Next, as my final step, I looked into what the words “see” (v. 41) / “while not seeing” (v. 42), and the word “do you not realize?” (v. 41) in today’s passage, Luke 6:41–42, mean exactly in the original Greek.

 

(a)    Here, the Greek word translated as “see” is βλέπεις (blepeis).  Its meaning is “to see,” “to look at,” or “to perceive with the eyes,” and it mainly refers to physical sight or superficial observation.  It describes the behavior of clearly seeing another person’s small speck while failing to recognize one’s own major problem (Internet).

 

(i)               The Greek phrase translated as “while not seeing” is μὴ βλέπων (mē blepōn), which literally means “not doing the act of seeing.”  It emphasizes a state in which one fails to recognize the log (the major problem) in one’s own eye.  Outwardly, such a person sees others, but in reality does not see himself—signifying ignorance of oneself (Internet).

 

·          The Greek word translated as “do you not realize?” is κατανοεῖς (katanoeis).  The root verb νοέω (noeō) goes far beyond simply “seeing” and carries profound meanings such as “to think deeply,” “to understand,” “to grasp thoroughly,” “to perceive insightfully,” and “to discern.”  This word reveals a form of spiritual incapacity—one can recognize another person’s small fault but fundamentally fails to comprehend the large sin within oneself (Internet).

 

(b)   As I meditated on the Greek meanings of these words, I began to reflect on why hypocrites—like the Pharisees—can see other people’s small specks so clearly, yet fail to see, recognize, think deeply about, understand, grasp, or discern their own great problem (the “log”).

 

(i)               I believe the fundamental cause lies in their self-righteousness—their desire to obtain salvation by keeping the Law through human effort. 

 

·          This is precisely the greatest characteristic of legalism: self-righteousness.  Here, “self-righteousness” refers to an attitude of attempting to stand before God by relying on one’s own religious deeds (Internet).  In biblical terms, this is called “righteousness based on works of the Law.”  The Pharisees in Jesus’ time firmly believed that they were righteous because they meticulously obeyed the Law (Lk. 18:9), and they believed that through their self-righteousness they could be justified before God and obtain salvation.

 

-        What is legalism?  When we usually speak of legalism, we think of the hypocritical Pharisees in the Bible, and we understand legalism as believing—like they did—that salvation can be obtained by keeping the Law (a works-based view of salvation).  The most fundamental problem of the Pharisees was their attempt to be justified by obeying the Old Testament Law.  In other words, legalism is a faith system built on self-righteousness.  Therefore, legalism emphasizes one’s own devotion and effort in strictly keeping prescribed rules and regulations (Internet).  However, this legalistic faith based on self-righteousness produces two dangerous fruits: spiritual superiority and chronic guilt.  Those who keep the rules better than others develop spiritual superiority and look down on those who do not.  On the other hand, those who fail to keep them well suffer from chronic guilt (Internet).

 

n  That is why Jesus said: “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance” (Lk. 5:31–32).  The reason Jesus said this is that the “righteous” He referred to were the Pharisees who considered themselves righteous by keeping the Law.  Like “healthy people” who do not need a doctor (v. 31), they were “righteous people” (v. 32) who believed they did not need Jesus, seeking to be justified before God through works of the Law—even though Scripture clearly says, “By works of the Law no human being will be justified in His sight …” (Rom. 3:20).

 

(ii)             Below is a short devotional reflection I wrote on October 12, 2021, under the title “Unrelated to God’s Commandments …”: “Faithfully keeping many traditional laws created by people—laws unrelated to God’s commandments—is worshiping God in vain, and it carries a great danger of pursuing one’s own glory out of a sense of personal merit arising from self-righteousness (Mk. 7:4, 7).”

 

·          Below is something I wrote on June 8, 2017, under the title “Self-Righteousness”: “My instinctive selfishness, which pursues ‘self-righteousness,’ will today again continually cause me to boast in myself (self-glory) and lead me into ‘self-idolatry.’”

 

-        Below is a short devotional reflection I wrote on October 21, 2020, under the title “Personal Merit, Self-Righteousness, and Hardness of Heart”: “When we regard what we have done for the Lord as personal merit and begin to enjoy receiving praise from people, we inevitably become addicted to self-righteousness, and our hearts become hardened” (Mk. 3:5) (A thought that came to me while listening to a sermon during today’s family prayer gathering).”

 

n  Below is a portion of a family (marriage-related) reflection I wrote on July 19, 2018, under the title “Self-Centeredness”: “What is truly dangerous is that a self-centered disposition leads me to think, ‘I am right, and you are wrong,’ when in fact we are simply different.  As a result, I criticized my wife in my heart—calling her ‘wrong’ or ‘mistaken’—and even went so far as to condemn her.  Yet this self-centered tendency prevents me from realizing that I am sinning against God and my wife in this way.  Moreover, my self-centeredness only exposes my own self-righteousness to my wife.  That is why I had no choice but to hear my wife say to me, ‘You think you’re so great.’  This kind of self-centered thinking has made me unable to see myself—and it continues to do so even now.”

 

n  Below is a portion of something I wrote on January 29, 2022, under the title “Divorce”: “… How can a marital relationship be improved?  If we just bury it(?) and leave it alone, will marital problems get better over time?  Absolutely not. They may seem to improve on the surface, but I believe that unresolved marital issues will continue to fester inwardly and inevitably pile up even more.  I believe that even now, in the Lord, it is not too late. Even now, we must commit ourselves in the Lord to improving our marital relationship. In particular, the area where commitment is needed is this: the husband must commit himself to a change of his own heart, and the wife must commit herself to a change of her own heart.  This does not mean that the husband should commit himself to changing the wife’s heart, nor that the wife should commit herself to changing the husband’s heart.  Rather, it means that I, as the husband or wife, must commit myself to the change of my own heart.  The reason I say this is that if we are still praying and waiting for my wife or my husband (their heart) to change, it may indicate that instead of seeking the cause of the marital problem before the Lord within ourselves, we are finding it in our spouse—and thinking that this is the great “log” causing the marital problem.  Jesus’ words come to mind: ‘How can you say to your brother, “Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,” when you yourself fail to see the log in your own eye? You hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye’ (Lk. 6:42).  If the “log” in my heart is unhealthy and sick in God’s sight, then the “speck” in my spouse’s life will keep standing out to me. And because of that “speck,” dissatisfaction will grow, followed by complaints (grumbling), criticism, and so on …  And then marital conflict …  And then cracks in the marital relationship …  And then even heated strife caused by disputes … Eventually, even to the point where hearts are divided… and so on …  I think this is the sequence that may unfold.  If I do not recognize my sick heart and do not seek God to have that sick heart healed, I will continue to view my spouse through the perspective of a sick heart …  And if both the husband and the wife are like that, what will happen to that marriage?  In the end, won’t they even begin to think about something called “divorce,” and perhaps even say it out loud to their spouse?  This is Hosea 14:5: ‘Israel betrayed me and became sick, but I will heal their sick hearts and love them ….’  And these are the lyrics from verse 1 of the hymn “Lord, Heal My Sick Body” (I have modified “body” to “heart”): ‘Lord, heal my sick body (I change this to “heart”), Heal all diseases (if the sickness of the heart is healed, the sick marital relationship will also be healed), The Lord has promised this.  Now I firmly believe and ask before the Lord; Lord, by Your great power, please heal me.’”