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"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정을 다스려라"

"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정 다스려라   부모의 감정이 무엇보다 자녀의 감정에 큰 영향을 미친다 / 셔터스톡 부모라면 자녀의 감정을 존중하는 것의 중요성에 대해 들어봤을 것이다.  하지만 부모인 당신의 감정은 어떠한가? 임상 사회 복지사이자 심리 치료사인 힐러리 제이콥스 헨델과 심리학자이자 양육 교육자인 줄리 프라가 박사는 신간, 『부모도 감정이 있다(Parents Have Feelings, Too)』에서 통념을 뒤집었다.  즉, 정서적으로 건강한 아이를 양육할 수 있도록 하기 위해선 먼저 부모 자신의 감정을 다스릴 줄 알아야 한다는 것이 핵심 메시지다. 이들이 부모들에게 어떤 조언을 했는지 CNN과 함께 알아본다.  부모에게 가장 중요한 감정, '분노' 헨델은 부모가 다뤄야 할 6가지 핵심 감정으로  ▲분노 ▲슬픔 ▲두려움 ▲혐오 ▲기쁨 ▲흥분을 꼽았다. 그러면서 ‘분노’를 가장 중요한 핵심 감정으로 보았다.  그녀는 “분노는 파괴적인 잠재력을 가지고 있기 때문에 사람들을 곤경에 빠뜨리는 감정이며, 그래서 우리는 대개 그것을 묻어버린다. 그런데 이때 분노는 안으로 폭발하여 우울, 죄책감, 불안, 수치심으로 나타날 수 있다. 혹은 밖으로 폭발하여 공격성으로 표출될 수 있다.”고 설명했다.  중요한 것은 분노를 ‘행동’으로 옮기지 않고 ‘경험’하는 방법을 배우는 것이다.  이는 분노에 이름을 붙이고, 신체에서 어떻게 느껴지는지 알아차리고, 그 순간의 충동이 무엇인지를 인식하며, 궁극적으로는 그 에너지를 방출하는 것을 포함하는 내면의 과정이다.  이에 더해 헨델은 분노를 두 개의 분리된 단계로 이해할 필요성을 말했다. 분노를 경험하는 내적인 과정과 스스로와 가족에게 건설적인 방식으로 분노를 표현하는 외적인 과정이 그것이다.  한편, 프라가 박사는 엄마와 달리, 아빠들의 경우 ‘분노’라는 감정처리에 더욱 익숙하지 않다고 지적했다.  하지만 아빠들...

“If God is for us” (10) (Romans 8:35-39)

“If God is for us” (10)

 

 

 

[Romans 8:35-39]

 

 

                Look at Romans 8:36-37: “Just as it is written, ‘FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED.’  But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.”  Here, “it is written” refers to the Apostle Paul’s quoting of the words recorded in Psalms 44:22 – “But for Your sake we are killed all day long; We are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”  And “we” in Romans 8:36 refers to three things in context: (1) God’s elect (v. 33), (2) Those whom God justifies (v. 33), and (3) Those whom Christ Jesus at the right hand of God intercedes (v. 34).  When the Apostle Paul wrote to the saints in the Roman Church that this “we” who are being put to death all day long, “all day” refers to a whole day, but ultimately to a lifetime.  When the Apostle Paul wrote to the Roman church saints this prison Epistle to Romans, saying, “For your sake we are being put to death all day long”, he said this to the Roman church saints while he himself was living according to the teachings of Jesus.  That teaching of Jesus is Mark 8:35 – “For whoever wishes to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it.”  In other words, the Apostle Paul wrote the Epistle to the Romans to the Roman church saints while he himself first obeyed the words of Jesus and even gave up his life for the sake of Jesus Christ and the gospel of Christ (so he was imprisoned), quoting Psalms 44:22, “Just as it is written, ‘FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG …’ (Rom. 8:36).  Therefore, “FOR YOUR SAKE” (v. 36) means ‘for me and the gospel’ (Mk. 8:35), that is, for Jesus Christ and the gospel of Christ.  Look at Romans 14:8 – “for if we live, we live for the Lord, or if we die, we die for the Lord; therefore whether we live or die, we are the Lord's.”  Look at Luke 9:23 – “And He was saying to them all, ‘If anyone wishes to come after Me, he must deny himself, and take up his cross daily and follow Me.’”  The disciples of Jesus Christ live for the gospel of Jesus Christ, deny themselves, take up their cross daily, and follow Jesus Christ.

 

                The Apostle Paul quoted Psalms 44:22 to the Roman church saints and said, “WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH” (Rom. 8:36) and the Korea modern Bible translated it ‘We are in danger of death.’  The meaning of this word refers to the tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, or sword (v. 35) that are danger of death, which Jesus’ disciples, the Apostle Paul, and the Roman church saints suffered.  And the danger of death was so great that they almost reached a state of death.  In the Bible, the person named Job suffered so severe that it almost brought him to a state of death.  Even now, among the disciples of Jesus, there are brothers and sisters in Christ who are living for the gospel of Jesus Christ and are suffering such extreme suffering.  And the Apostle Paul said to the Roman church saints, “WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED” (v. 36) and the purpose of raising sheep is to lead them to the slaughterhouse and kill them.  Hear the prophecy of the prophet Isaiah about Christ (the Messiah): “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth” (Isa. 53:7).  D

 

When the Apostle Paul wrote the letter to the Romans church saints from the Roman prison and said, “Just as it is written, ‘FOR YOUR SAKE WE ARE BEING PUT TO DEATH ALL DAY LONG; WE WERE CONSIDERED AS SHEEP TO BE SLAUGHTERED’ (Rom. 8:36), he himself he himself died while suffering all day for the sake of Jesus Christ and the gospel of Christ according to the prophecy of Isaiah 53:7 – “He was oppressed and He was afflicted, Yet He did not open His mouth; Like a lamb that is led to slaughter, And like a sheep that is silent before its shearers, So He did not open His mouth.”  That is why he said to the Roman church saints, “We” (Rom. 8:36).  Look at 1 Corinthians 4:9, 11-13: “For, I think, God has exhibited us apostles last of all, as men condemned to death; because we have become a spectacle to the world, both to angels and to men.    To this present hour we are both hungry and thirsty, and are poorly clothed, and are roughly treated, and are homeless; and we toil, working with our own hands; when we are reviled, we bless; when we are persecuted, we endure; when we are slandered, we try to conciliate; we have become as the scum of the world, the dregs of all things, even until now.”  Also, look at 2 Corinthians 11:23-27: “Are they servants of Christ?--I speak as if insane--I more so; in far more labors, in far more imprisonments, beaten times without number, often in danger of death.  Five times I received from the Jews thirty-nine lashes.  Three times I was beaten with rods, once I was stoned, three times I was shipwrecked, a night and a day I have spent in the deep.  I have been on frequent journeys, in dangers from rivers, dangers from robbers, dangers from my countrymen, dangers from the Gentiles, dangers in the city, dangers in the wilderness, dangers on the sea, dangers among false brethren; I have been in labor and hardship, through many sleepless nights, in hunger and thirst, often without food, in cold and exposure.” 

 

                In this way, the Apostle Paul himself was in danger of death for the sake of the Lord all day (Rom. 8:36), but he said to the Roman Church saints: “But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (v. 37).  He said to them, ‘But even if we (Paul and the Roman church saints) face tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, or danger of death like a sword (v. 35), “But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us” (v. 37).  We do not win by barely winning, but we win with plenty or with ease (Korean modern Bible).  The reason is because our beloved Son, Jesus Christ, has already overcome the world.  Look at John 16:33 – “These things I have spoken to you, so that in Me you may have peace In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.”  Therefore, who will dare accuse us, whom God has chosen? (Rom. 8:33)  Who will condemn us? (v. 34)  Who can separate us from the love of Christ? (v. 35)  Is it “tribulation,” “distress,” “persecution,” “famine,” “nakedness,” “peril,” or “sword”? (v. 35)  No one!  Never!  Through Christ who loves us, we are able to overcome all of these (v. 37).  Therefore, we have no choice but to be grateful.  Look at 1 Corinthians 15:55-57: “’O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR VICTORY?  O DEATH, WHERE IS YOUR STING?’  The sting of death is sin, and the power of sin is the law; but thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ.”  Let us all live for the sake of Jesus Christ and the gospel of Christ with the assurance of salvation and the assurance of victory.

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