Sharing is Caring

회피하는 남편과 상대방을 기쁘게 하려는 아내         “Over time, the pleaser begins to feel rejected by the avoider's independent, self-sufficient relational style. The avoider's tendency to disengage and detach makes the pleaser feel anxious about the relationship, wondering, What is wrong?   Am I making my spouse happy? As the pleaser feels cut off, he or she pursues to close the gap and lower personal anxiety. The pleaser wonders why the avoider doesn’t seem to want or need him or her as much as he or she used to.   The avoider becomes annoyed when the pleaser interprets the need for space as a personal rejection. This is baffling to the avoider, who has always been independent and self-sufficient. The avoider believes the pleaser is smothering and too needy, and therefore the avoider increases efforts to create distance and be self-sufficient.   The irritation of the avoider increases the pleaser's anxiety. Why isn’t my spouse happier? Why doesn’t my...