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"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정을 다스려라"

"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정 다스려라   부모의 감정이 무엇보다 자녀의 감정에 큰 영향을 미친다 / 셔터스톡 부모라면 자녀의 감정을 존중하는 것의 중요성에 대해 들어봤을 것이다.  하지만 부모인 당신의 감정은 어떠한가? 임상 사회 복지사이자 심리 치료사인 힐러리 제이콥스 헨델과 심리학자이자 양육 교육자인 줄리 프라가 박사는 신간, 『부모도 감정이 있다(Parents Have Feelings, Too)』에서 통념을 뒤집었다.  즉, 정서적으로 건강한 아이를 양육할 수 있도록 하기 위해선 먼저 부모 자신의 감정을 다스릴 줄 알아야 한다는 것이 핵심 메시지다. 이들이 부모들에게 어떤 조언을 했는지 CNN과 함께 알아본다.  부모에게 가장 중요한 감정, '분노' 헨델은 부모가 다뤄야 할 6가지 핵심 감정으로  ▲분노 ▲슬픔 ▲두려움 ▲혐오 ▲기쁨 ▲흥분을 꼽았다. 그러면서 ‘분노’를 가장 중요한 핵심 감정으로 보았다.  그녀는 “분노는 파괴적인 잠재력을 가지고 있기 때문에 사람들을 곤경에 빠뜨리는 감정이며, 그래서 우리는 대개 그것을 묻어버린다. 그런데 이때 분노는 안으로 폭발하여 우울, 죄책감, 불안, 수치심으로 나타날 수 있다. 혹은 밖으로 폭발하여 공격성으로 표출될 수 있다.”고 설명했다.  중요한 것은 분노를 ‘행동’으로 옮기지 않고 ‘경험’하는 방법을 배우는 것이다.  이는 분노에 이름을 붙이고, 신체에서 어떻게 느껴지는지 알아차리고, 그 순간의 충동이 무엇인지를 인식하며, 궁극적으로는 그 에너지를 방출하는 것을 포함하는 내면의 과정이다.  이에 더해 헨델은 분노를 두 개의 분리된 단계로 이해할 필요성을 말했다. 분노를 경험하는 내적인 과정과 스스로와 가족에게 건설적인 방식으로 분노를 표현하는 외적인 과정이 그것이다.  한편, 프라가 박사는 엄마와 달리, 아빠들의 경우 ‘분노’라는 감정처리에 더욱 익숙하지 않다고 지적했다.  하지만 아빠들...

The sincere faith (2 Timothy 1:5)

The sincere faith

 

 

 

 

“For I am mindful of the sincere faith within you, which first dwelt in your grandmother Lois and your mother Eunice, and I am sure that it is in you as well” (2 Timothy 1:5).

 

 

 

 

Timothy, the spiritual son of the Apostle Paul, was a possessor of sincere faith.  Like his mother Eunice and his grandmother Lois, he had a faith without hypocrisy in his heart.  He could truly be nothing less than a precious holder of faith.  His name suits him well.  The name "Timothy" means "God's treasure" (Park).  Such a possessor of faith is indeed a true disciple of Jesus.  In other words, a genuine disciple of Jesus possesses a faith without deceit in their heart.

 

A faith without deceit means faithful faith, faith without hypocrisy, and genuine and sincere faith.  As an example, we can consider the faith of Abraham mentioned in Romans 4:18-21.  Abraham's faith can be described in three aspects:

 

First, Abraham's sincere faith was a faith that hoped against all hope.

 

Look at Romans 4:18: " Against all hope, Abraham in hope believed and so became the father of many nations, just as it had been said to him, ‘So shall your offspring be.’"

 

Even at the age of a hundred, with his body as good as dead, and Sarah's womb also dead, Abraham believed in the promise of God he received when he was seventy-five, which said, "So shall your offspring be." In other words, Abraham's faith was a hope against hope that transcended the medically impossible situation of human beings.  False belief, unfaithfulness, hypocrisy, and fake faith may hope when it's possible to hope, but they cannot hope when it seems impossible. Instead, when faced with an impossible situation, they may say with their lips that they believe, but in their hearts, they cry out, "This is impossible." They may outwardly claim, "I believe," but inwardly, they declare, "This is impossible." What's remarkable is that Abraham received praise from his fellow brothers and sisters for having a precious faith. Therefore, due to this, he suffered at least in his conscience, tormented by a troubled and unbelieving heart that only he and God knew. If there were no such prickings of conscience and torment, it would truly be a false and hypocritical faith.

 

We must become possessors of genuine faith like Abraham and Timothy. We must be possessors of faith who can hope in God even in situations that seem utterly impossible, not just when it's possible to hope. Even when there seems to be no hope at all, we must walk in faith, looking to the hope-giving Lord, even without any visible evidence.

 

Second, Abraham's sincere faith was one that, even in impossible circumstances, did not weaken but rather became stronger, giving glory to God.

 

Look at Romans 4:19-20: “Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead--since he was about a hundred years old--and that Sarah's womb was also dead.  Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God.”  Abraham's sincere faith, without deceit, faced the impossible reality that he and his wife Sarah confronted.  Despite the fact that his faith could have weakened enough to give up on having a son, especially as the years passed and the situation became increasingly impossible, Abraham relying solely on the Lord, and his faith became even stronger.  The cause of this strong faith lies in the power of God's living and active promise.  In other words, Abraham's sincere faith, which did not weaken even in impossible circumstances, but rather became stronger, was due to the power of God's promise.  That word was alive and at work in Abraham's heart.  Thus, in such an impossible and infeasible situation, he did not doubt God's promise but instead stood firm in faith, giving glory to God.

 

False faith, unfaithfulness, hypocrisy, and counterfeit faith weaken when faced with impossible circumstances.  As the situation progressively becomes more impossible, so does faith become progressively weaker.  Such false faith is led by circumstances rather than the word of God's promise.  And impossible situations expose our lack of faith.  That is, impossible circumstances thoroughly reveal how much we do not believe in God's promise.  Therefore, in unbelief, instead of giving glory to God by pretending to have faith, we end up concealing it.  Hypocritical faith not only fails to give glory to God but also cannot do so.

 

We must become possessors of sincere faith like Abraham and like Timothy.  In situations that seem impossible, we must walk forward with a faith that does not weaken but rather becomes stronger and more steadfast.  Even as circumstances grow progressively more challenging and impossible, we should move forward with a faith that does not waver, becoming even stronger, relying on the faith in the God of the impossible.

 

Third and last, Abraham's sincere faith was a belief that was convinced that God is able to fulfill His promise.

 

Look at Romans 4:21: “being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”  In the face of seemingly impossible circumstances, Abraham was not doubtful, and his faith did not weaken.  Rather, he was fully persuaded that God, who had given him the promise, was fully able to fulfill it.  What persuaded him was the power of God, who had spoken the promise to him.  In the midst of realizing human incapacity and helplessness, while fully relying on the power of God, believing in His omnipotence to sufficiently accomplish the promise, this kind of faith is sincere and Abraham was the possessor of such faith.

 

False faith, unfaithfulness, hypocrisy, and counterfeit faith believe more in one's own ability than in the power of God.  False and hypocritical faith not only fail to acknowledge their own incapacity and helplessness, but also cannot realize it.  Therefore, they cannot fully believe and rely on the power of God.  Instead, they live by relying more on their own abilities, even leading to a dangerous reliance on their abilities to solve what is possible, which ultimately reinforces their reliance on themselves.  As a result, even in impossible situations, they move forward relying on themselves rather than trusting in God.  Nevertheless, they profess to believe in God.  This is hypocritical faith.

 

We must possess sincere faith without hypocrisy and falsehood.  We must not rely on ourselves but recognize our inability.  We must hold fast to the word of God's promise.  Not only must we hold fast to the word of promise, but we must also live by being held fast by that word.  We should never be led by what seems impossible.  On the contrary, the more a situation appears impossible, the more we should be led by God's promise.  We must thoroughly realize our own helplessness and rely solely on the power of God as we live.  Let us all be fully persuaded by the power of God and live accordingly.

 

Jesus said, "When the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on earth?" (Lk. 18:8).  Indeed, each of us should examine our own faith to see if we can stand before the Lord again with sincere faith when Jesus returns (2 Cor. 13:5).

 

 



Desiring to live with sincere faith,

 

 

 

 

James Kim

(Spoken on the first day of the sermon event commemorating the 28th anniversary of Victory Presbyterian Church, in the afternoon at the Shepherd's Room)

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