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"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정을 다스려라"

"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정 다스려라   부모의 감정이 무엇보다 자녀의 감정에 큰 영향을 미친다 / 셔터스톡 부모라면 자녀의 감정을 존중하는 것의 중요성에 대해 들어봤을 것이다.  하지만 부모인 당신의 감정은 어떠한가? 임상 사회 복지사이자 심리 치료사인 힐러리 제이콥스 헨델과 심리학자이자 양육 교육자인 줄리 프라가 박사는 신간, 『부모도 감정이 있다(Parents Have Feelings, Too)』에서 통념을 뒤집었다.  즉, 정서적으로 건강한 아이를 양육할 수 있도록 하기 위해선 먼저 부모 자신의 감정을 다스릴 줄 알아야 한다는 것이 핵심 메시지다. 이들이 부모들에게 어떤 조언을 했는지 CNN과 함께 알아본다.  부모에게 가장 중요한 감정, '분노' 헨델은 부모가 다뤄야 할 6가지 핵심 감정으로  ▲분노 ▲슬픔 ▲두려움 ▲혐오 ▲기쁨 ▲흥분을 꼽았다. 그러면서 ‘분노’를 가장 중요한 핵심 감정으로 보았다.  그녀는 “분노는 파괴적인 잠재력을 가지고 있기 때문에 사람들을 곤경에 빠뜨리는 감정이며, 그래서 우리는 대개 그것을 묻어버린다. 그런데 이때 분노는 안으로 폭발하여 우울, 죄책감, 불안, 수치심으로 나타날 수 있다. 혹은 밖으로 폭발하여 공격성으로 표출될 수 있다.”고 설명했다.  중요한 것은 분노를 ‘행동’으로 옮기지 않고 ‘경험’하는 방법을 배우는 것이다.  이는 분노에 이름을 붙이고, 신체에서 어떻게 느껴지는지 알아차리고, 그 순간의 충동이 무엇인지를 인식하며, 궁극적으로는 그 에너지를 방출하는 것을 포함하는 내면의 과정이다.  이에 더해 헨델은 분노를 두 개의 분리된 단계로 이해할 필요성을 말했다. 분노를 경험하는 내적인 과정과 스스로와 가족에게 건설적인 방식으로 분노를 표현하는 외적인 과정이 그것이다.  한편, 프라가 박사는 엄마와 달리, 아빠들의 경우 ‘분노’라는 감정처리에 더욱 익숙하지 않다고 지적했다.  하지만 아빠들...

A Spirit-filled Christian Praises God and Enjoys the Peace He Gives

A Spirit-filled Christian Praises God

and Enjoys the Peace He Gives

 

  

 

“And you, my child, will be called a prophet of the Most High; for you will go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him, to give his people the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins, because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace.” The child grew and became strong in spirit, and he lived in the wilderness until he appeared publicly to Israel” (Luke 1:76–80).

 

 Meditating on this passage, I desire to receive grace from God:

 

(1)    On Luke 1:76–80: “This child” and “the child” - In verse 76, the opening line says “And you, my child,” and in verse 80, the closing line says “The child.”  Here, “the child” refers to “John,” whom God gave to the priest Zechariah and his wife Elizabeth in answer to their prayer (v.13).

 

(a)    This “John” is the one we know as John the Baptist (not the apostle John).  He was called “the Baptist” because he came preaching repentance and baptizing with water.

 

(i)                 Zechariah, filled with the Holy Spirit, prophesied that John would be “called a prophet of the Most High” and would “go before the Lord to prepare the way for him” (v.76, cf. v.67).  Indeed, John was born six months before Jesus (v.36) and carried the great responsibility of preparing the way for the Lord.

·         When I meditate on the phrase “prophet of the Most High” (v.76), I am reminded of Gabriel’s words to Mary: “You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus. He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High … The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you.  So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God” (vv.31–32, 35).  Twice the title “Most High” appears, clearly referring to God Himself.  Thus, “Son of the Most High” (v.32) is the same as “Son of God” (v.35).  Gabriel told Mary that by the power of the Holy Spirit she would conceive and give birth to Jesus.

 

-          Therefore, John the Baptist would indeed be called “a prophet of God” (v.76).

 

·         Furthermore, when I meditate on the phrase “go on before the Lord to prepare the way for him” (v.76), I see that Zechariah was prophesying that his son, given in answer to prayer, would be a prophet of God.  John would come before the Lord to prepare His way by giving God’s people “the knowledge of salvation through the forgiveness of their sins” (v.77).

 

-          This also recalls Gabriel’s earlier prophecy to Zechariah in verses 16–17: “He will bring back many of the people of Israel to the Lord their God.  And he will go on before the Lord, in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the parents to their children and the disobedient to the wisdom of the righteous—to make ready a people prepared for the Lord.”

 

n  John, filled with the Spirit from birth, was given a unique mission to prepare the way for the Messiah.  Like Elijah, he carried out a ministry of repentance, calling Israel back to God.  That is why he cried out in the Judean wilderness: “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near!” (Mt. 3:1–2).  John’s mission was to turn many of Israel back to God and to prepare the way for the Christ who was coming after him.

 

(2)    On Luke 1:78–79: The mercy of God and the “rising sun” - Zechariah concluded his prophecy: “Because of the tender mercy of our God, by which the rising sun will come to us from heaven to shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace” (vv.78–79).

 

(a)    This “mercy of God” is the same mercy by which God remembered His holy covenant, the oath He swore to Abraham (vv.72–73).  Its ultimate purpose was to rescue His people from their enemies (v.71), which points beyond political salvation to spiritual deliverance—from sin, death, and the power of the devil.

 

(i)                 To fulfill this salvation, “the rising sun will come to us from heaven” (v.78).  The “rising sun” imagery recalls Malachi 4:2: “The sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays,” as well as Isaiah 9:2 and 60:1, and Numbers 24:17 (“a star will come out of Jacob”).  All of these are messianic prophecies pointing to the One who brings light, righteousness, and healing.

 

·         Thus, the Messiah, Jesus Christ—the “sunrise,” the “light,” the “star”—came from heaven to “shine on those living in darkness and in the shadow of death, to guide our feet into the path of peace” (v.79).  The phrase “those living in darkness and in the shadow of death” (v.79) echoes Isaiah 9:2, quoted in Matthew 4:16: “The people living in darkness have seen a great light.”

 

-          The prophecy that Christ would “guide our feet into the path of peace” (v.79) points to Him as the Prince of Peace (Isa 9:6). Though He is the King of Peace, He became the atoning sacrifice for our sins (1 John 4:10; 2:2), shedding His blood on the cross (Rom 3:25) to redeem us (Col 1:14) and reconcile us to God (Rom 5:10). He gives us a peace the world cannot give (John 14:27).

 

(3)    On Luke 1:68-79: From “praise” to “peace” - Zechariah’s prophecy in Luke 1:68–79 begins with praise (v.68) and ends with peace (v.79).  This teaches us that Spirit-filled Christians, when they praise God, receive His peace in return.

 

(a)    This reminds me of the hymn “It Is Well with My Soul.” My late father-in-law, Elder Richard Oh, often sang it: “When peace like a river attendeth my way, when sorrows like sea billows roll, whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.”  The author, Horatio Spafford (1828–1888), wrote this hymn after losing his four daughters in a shipwreck while traveling to Europe.  Passing over the waters where the tragedy occurred, he wrote these words of trust and peace in the Lord.

 

(i)                 I am reminded again of Jeremiah 29:11: “For I know the plans I have for you … plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future.”  My father-in-law, though suffering from Parkinson’s disease, still sang “It is well with my soul,” experiencing divine peace that the world cannot give.  Outwardly, his “quality of life” may have seemed low, but inwardly he had the “beauty of life,” for he enjoyed the peace of Christ even in affliction.  For such a believer, there is always hope and a future.

 

·         Therefore, I too want to follow his example.  Even if the storms of life rage and the ship of my family seems to sink, I want to hold fast to the faith of Immanuel (God with us, Mt. 1:23) and sing: “Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.”  So that I may find rest in the Lord.


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