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"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정을 다스려라"

"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정 다스려라   부모의 감정이 무엇보다 자녀의 감정에 큰 영향을 미친다 / 셔터스톡 부모라면 자녀의 감정을 존중하는 것의 중요성에 대해 들어봤을 것이다.  하지만 부모인 당신의 감정은 어떠한가? 임상 사회 복지사이자 심리 치료사인 힐러리 제이콥스 헨델과 심리학자이자 양육 교육자인 줄리 프라가 박사는 신간, 『부모도 감정이 있다(Parents Have Feelings, Too)』에서 통념을 뒤집었다.  즉, 정서적으로 건강한 아이를 양육할 수 있도록 하기 위해선 먼저 부모 자신의 감정을 다스릴 줄 알아야 한다는 것이 핵심 메시지다. 이들이 부모들에게 어떤 조언을 했는지 CNN과 함께 알아본다.  부모에게 가장 중요한 감정, '분노' 헨델은 부모가 다뤄야 할 6가지 핵심 감정으로  ▲분노 ▲슬픔 ▲두려움 ▲혐오 ▲기쁨 ▲흥분을 꼽았다. 그러면서 ‘분노’를 가장 중요한 핵심 감정으로 보았다.  그녀는 “분노는 파괴적인 잠재력을 가지고 있기 때문에 사람들을 곤경에 빠뜨리는 감정이며, 그래서 우리는 대개 그것을 묻어버린다. 그런데 이때 분노는 안으로 폭발하여 우울, 죄책감, 불안, 수치심으로 나타날 수 있다. 혹은 밖으로 폭발하여 공격성으로 표출될 수 있다.”고 설명했다.  중요한 것은 분노를 ‘행동’으로 옮기지 않고 ‘경험’하는 방법을 배우는 것이다.  이는 분노에 이름을 붙이고, 신체에서 어떻게 느껴지는지 알아차리고, 그 순간의 충동이 무엇인지를 인식하며, 궁극적으로는 그 에너지를 방출하는 것을 포함하는 내면의 과정이다.  이에 더해 헨델은 분노를 두 개의 분리된 단계로 이해할 필요성을 말했다. 분노를 경험하는 내적인 과정과 스스로와 가족에게 건설적인 방식으로 분노를 표현하는 외적인 과정이 그것이다.  한편, 프라가 박사는 엄마와 달리, 아빠들의 경우 ‘분노’라는 감정처리에 더욱 익숙하지 않다고 지적했다.  하지만 아빠들...

The happiness of those who are credited as righteous by God (2) (Romans 4:9-17)

The happiness of those who are credited as righteous by God (2)

 

 

 

 

 

[Romans 4:9-17]

 

 

 

We have already learned who is the happiest person in the world based on Romans 4:1-8.  We learned that the happiest person in this world is the one who has received the remission of all sins only through faith in Jesus Christ, and whom God credited as the righteousness.  In the midst of that, I personally created a “happiness formula”: Happiness Quotient = Only grace + Only Jesus' work on the cross + Only faith.  The more we get to know Jesus through the words of the Bible, and the more we realize what He did on the cross for our salvation, the more our faith grows.  And the more our faith grows, the more we will think of the salvation that God has given us in Jesus Christ.  And the more we think of the salvation that God has given us, the more we realize how great God's grace is.  The more we do this, the more we Christians feel happy and live a happy life.

 

If we look at Romans 4:9-17, we see that the apostle Paul, writing a letter to the saints in Rome, continued to speak about the happiness of those who are considered righteous by God.  We can think of this word by dividing it into two parts.

 

The first part is Romans 4:9-12.

 

Here, the apostle Paul explained to the saints in Rome about the happiness of those who are justified by God only through faith in Jesus Christ, saying that those who can enjoy that happiness do not care whether they are circumcised or not.  In other words, it is saying that the happiness of being justified by God through faith comes not from being circumcised or not (Park).  So, Paul says this in Romans 4:9 – “Is this blessedness only for the circumcised, or also for the uncircumcised? We have been saying that Abraham's faith was credited to him as righteousness.”  He speaks of circumcision, which the Jews took pride in as God's covenant people, and it is not important whether the recipients of God's happiness are circumcised Jews or uncircumcised Gentiles.  At the same time, he says that being circumcised, which is an act of the law, does not bring us the happiness of justification, but like Abraham, we can enjoy true happiness by being justified by God only through faith.  Then, in today's text, Romans 4:10-11, Paul further explains that Abraham, the Jews’ ancestor whom the Jews respect, was justified by faith in God (the promised word of God) before he was circumcised.  In other words, the fact that Abraham was justified by God is found in Genesis 15:6, whereas the fact that he was circumcised is found in Genesis 17:10 et seq.  Therefore, Paul explains through a letter to the saints in Rome that Abraham's justification was never obtained because of circumcision (Park).  Then, why did God justify Abraham by giving him the word of promise before he was circumcised so that he would believe in the word of promise?  Paul explains the reason as follows: “And he received the sign of circumcision, a seal of the righteousness that he had by faith while he was still uncircumcised.  So then, he is the father of all who believe but have not been circumcised, in order that righteousness might be credited to them.  And he is also the father of the circumcised who not only are circumcised but who also walk in the footsteps of the faith that our father Abraham had before he was circumcised.” (Rom 4:11-12).  In other words, the reason why God justified Abraham before he was circumcised was to make him the ancestor of all believers, and to teach them that, like Abraham, they can enjoy the happiness of being justified by God only through faith.  In other words, Paul wrote a letter to the community in Rome where Jews and Gentiles were mixed to remind them that both circumcised Jewish saints and uncircumcised Gentile saints were justified by God only through faith, like Abraham, the father of faith.  He only says that those who follow the traces of Abraham’s faith, that he had at the time of uncircumcision (v. 12) are truly happy people who have been justified by God.

 

When the apostle Paul thought of the community in Rome, he kept in mind the mixture of Jewish and Gentile believers when he said, “This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference” (3:22).  In other words, since God's righteousness is revealed in the gospel (1:17), God justifies all those who hear the gospel and believe in the crucifixion and resurrection of Jesus Christ.  It does not matter whether you are a Jew or a Gentile in receiving the remission of all sins and being declared righteous by God only through faith in Jesus Christ.  All are justified by faith in Christ Jesus alone.  The problem, however, was that Jewish believers tended to be justified by the works of the law.  For them, they tried to prove that they were God's chosen people by practicing circumcision. They wanted to be justified by God by performing circumcision as commanded by the law.  Therefore, it would not have been easy for these Jewish believers to accept uncircumcised Gentile believers as the same people of God.  Rather, it seems that Jewish believers discriminated against Gentile believers.  So, pointing out the sinful tendency of the Jewish and Gentile believers in Rome to discriminate against each other, Paul used Abraham as an example when speaking of the supreme blessing of being justified by God.  Paul taught that even Abraham was justified by faith in God's word of promise before he was circumcised, and that circumcision had nothing to do with being justified by God.

 

Here I thought about baptism.  I thought about comparing circumcision in the Old Testament to baptism in the New Testament.  Baptism itself is absolutely not the factor that makes us justified by God.  Baptism is just a sign of justification like circumcision (v. 11) (Park).  In other words, being circumcised by Jews in the Old Testament was a sign that they were justified by God, but the mark itself never made them righteous by God.  Likewise, we are baptized because we are justified by God through our faith in Jesus Christ.  Being baptized is absolutely not the same as being saved by God and being justified by God.  But the problem is that many people think that they cannot be saved unless they are baptized.  Many people think of being baptized as a way to be saved, even though they are never saved by being baptized, but only by believing in Jesus Christ.  If we say that only when we are baptized are we justified by God, we are saved, etc., we as baptized ones will surely be able to differentiate ourselves from those who are not baptized while boasting that we have been baptized.  However, as the text of today teaches us, circumcision or uncircumcision, that is, when applied to the church living in the New Testament era, it is not important whether we have been baptized or not.  Like Abraham, our ancestor of faith, we must keep in mind that only we can be saved by faith, and only by believing in Jesus Christ can we be justified by God.

 

The second part is Romans 4:13-17.

 

Here, Paul explains the happiness of those who are justified by God only through faith in Jesus Christ, saying that Abraham is the father of faith not only to the Jews but also to the Gentiles.  Paul says that God's covenant with Abraham or his descendants to become heir of the world was not through the law, but through the righteousness of faith (v. 13).  Here, the “heir of the world” that God promised to Abraham can be thought of as four ways (Park): (1) All the families of the earth will be blessed through Abraham (Gen. 12:3), (2) Abraham will become the father of many nations (17:4-5), (3) Abraham's descendants will multiply like the stars in the sky and the sand of the sea (22:17), and (4) The land of Canaan, where Abraham is staying, will be given to Abraham and his descendants as an eternal inheritance (17:17).  These four promises have been fulfilled through Christ.  In other words, Christ gave us believers an eternal inheritance.  In other words, we have received the eternal kingdom of heaven through faith in Jesus Christ.  God has adopted all believers as His children so that we can gain the kingdom of heaven, our eternal inheritance.  Therefore, we can live with the sure hope of living in this eternal kingdom of heaven.  Ultimately, Paul writes a letter to the saints in Rome and tells them that the way to receive this eternal inheritance is not by keeping the law, but by believing in Jesus Christ only by God's total grace.  However, if, as the Jews say, we are justified by the works of the law, not by faith, and receive eternal inheritance, then Paul says that our “faith has no value and the promise is worthless” (v. 14).  In other words, if the promise of to receive an eternal inheritance (“heir of the world”) is obtained through the merits of keeping the law, then our faith is in vain and the promise is bound to be a lie.  Why?  The reason is because the law brings wrath (v. 15).  In other words, the law does not make us escape God's wrath, but rather fulfills it (Park).  The law makes us aware of sin (3:20, 23).  The law makes us realize how far we fall short of the glory of God (v. 23).  Therefore, the merits of human beings who keep the law cannot obtain the eternal inheritance, that is, the kingdom of heaven.  If we perfectly keep the law 100%, we will be able to gain the Kingdom of Heaven as our eternal inheritance.  However, there is no one in this world who perfectly keeps the law.  Therefore, the apostle Paul says that becoming heir and obtaining the kingdom of heaven by grace (v. 16).  In other words, receiving the eternal kingdom of heaven as an inheritance is only through faith and is entirely God's grace.  In other words, human salvation is entirely by God's grace, only through faith in Jesus Christ.  Both Jews and Gentiles, like Abraham, the ancestor of faith (v. 16), can enjoy the happiness of being justified by God only through faith in Jesus Christ alone!  Abraham came to enjoy the greatest happiness of being justified by God through faith in God, “who gives life to the dead and calls things that do not as though they were” (v. 17). 

 

Here we must imitate the faith of Abraham.  In today's text, Romans 4:17, Paul explains Abraham's faith in two ways (Park): “As it is written: ‘I have made you a father of many nations.’  He is our father in the sight of God, in whom he believed--the God who gives life to the dead and calls things that are not as though they were.”

 

(1)    Abraham's faith was faith in God who “gives life to the dead.”

 

As God commanded in Genesis 22, Abraham tied his son to an altar to offer up his only son, Isaac, and even tried to strike him down with the sword, believing that God was able to raise him from the dead.  We must have this faith.  In other words, we must have faith in Almighty God who can raise the dead.  In other words, we must believe in the power of God's resurrection that God resurrected His only begotten Son Jesus on the third day after He was nailed to the cross and died in order to forgive us all our sins.

 

(2)    Abraham's faith was faith in God, who “calls things that are not as though they were.”

 

Our God is a God who can make things that do not exist.  In other words, He is the Almighty God who can create something out of nothing.  Abraham had no sons until he was 100 years old, but Abraham believed God's promise that his descendants would be as numerous as the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Like Abraham, who believed in God who could create something out of nothing even in an impossible situation, we must long for and pursue this kind of faith.  I hope and pray that you and I will live a life of faith with this kind of faith.

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