The wise woman who builds a house

The wise woman who builds a house

 

 

 

 

[Proverbs 14:1-9]

 

 

              How should you and I build our own families?  Personally, when I think about Matthew 16:18, the promise that the Lord gave to our Victory Presbyterian Church, I pray while holding on to the words that the Lord will build the Lord’s church.  I have three prayer topics.  I pray that the Lord will raise up the Christ-centered leaders with dreams among us.  In the midst of that, I also pray that the Lord will build each of our families.  And I pray that the Lord will build Victory Presbyterian Church, the body of the Lord, and establish the kingdom of God.  That is why, whenever I pray with you, I often pray for individuals, families, and churches together.  Among these three prayer topics today, I cannot help but think about the second prayer topic, how we should pray for the Lord to establish our families.  As a review, let’s look back at the sermon on May 18, 2008 titled “Lord, establish our families!” and read 1 Chronicles 17:16-27.  At that time, we received three prayer topics: (1) “Lord, let my family be governed by the grace of God!” (v. 16), (2) “Lord, let the Word of God be the authority in my family!” (v. 23), and (3) “Lord, let my family be the one that experiences the presence of God through prayer!” (v. 25).  Let’s look back again today as we receive the word and pray to see if our families are governed by the grace of God, if the Word of God is the authority in our families, and if we are families that experience the presence of God through prayer.

 

              Today, I would like to meditate on the fact that the Lord uses a wise woman to build my family and yours, focusing on Proverbs 14:1-9.  Look at today’s text, Proverbs 14:1: “A wise woman builds her house, but a foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”  I would like to divide this passage into two parts under the title, “A wise woman who builds a house.”  I hope that as you meditate on these two parts, you and I will receive the lessons that God gives you and I, and obey them, so that you and I can humbly participate in the Lord’s work of building our families and the churches we serve.

 

              The first thing I want to think about is the foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands.  Look at the second half of Proverbs 14:1: “… The foolish woman tears it down with her own hands.”  Who is the foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands?

First, the foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands despises God.

 

Look at the second half Proverbs 14:2: “… The one who acts perversely despises the Lord.”  A foolish woman is “one who acts perversely.”  A person who acts perversely is someone who acts only according to her own good (Park).  And a foolish woman who acts only according to her own good despises God. In other words, she despises God.  How does she despise God?  Dr. Park said in seven ways (Park): (1) A foolish woman who despises God loves pleasure more than she loves God (2 Tim. 3:4), (2) A foolish woman who despises God acts according to her corrupted human nature and does not repent or believe in God (Jude 1:10), (3) A foolish woman who despises God despises God and says there is no God because God is long-suffering with human sin and does not punish quickly or every time (Romans 2:4). (4) A foolish woman who despises God does not fear the words of God written in the Bible (Proverbs 13:13). (5) A foolish woman who despises God does not glorify God but herself. In other words, she rashly tries to steal God’s glory. (6) A foolish woman who despises God does not pray to God.  This is despising God’s promise to give to those who ask (Matthew 7:7-11). and (7) A foolish woman who despises God does not worship God sincerely.  A foolish woman who despises God in this way does not fear God, but rather, because she despises God, she cannot walk the straight path but walks a crooked path.  In other words, a foolish woman who despises God walks the path of double-dealings (KJV Bible Commentary).  She is unfaithful, and because she does not fear God, she does not (cannot) walk uprightly, but rather does evil.  Therefore, a foolish woman who despises God builds her own house with her own hands.

 

Second, a foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands is proud.

 

Look at the first half of Proverbs 14:3: “A fool is proud; his mouth is a whip ….”  The Bible says that a foolish woman who does not fear God is proud (v. 3).  She is proud and considers others as inferior to her.  Therefore, she looks down on others and looks down on them in her heart.  For example, in a family, if a wife is foolish and proud, she looks down on her husband as inferior to her and looks down on him.  Therefore, she speaks disparagingly to her husband, hurting his feelings.  And the serious problem is that she does not realize that she has spoken hurtfully to her husband.  How would the husband feel if he lived with such a proud and foolish wife?  And what would happen to their house?  Would it be built properly or would it fall apart?  In the first half of Proverbs 11:2, the Bible says: “When pride comes, then comes shame ….”  What does this mean?  It means that a foolish and proud woman will be shamed by her own mouth.  What kind of shame will she be?  If we look at the second half of Proverbs 10:13, the Bible says, “… a rod is for the back of him who lacks wisdom.”  In other words, the Bible says that a foolish and proud woman will receive disgrace through her own mouth, and she will be disciplined with a rod or a rod (26:3).  Therefore, God humbles a proud woman (29:23). God will never build a family with a proud woman.  Such a foolish and proud woman ruins her own home.

             

              Third, a foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands is arrogant.

 

Look at the first half of Proverbs 14:6: “… A scorner seeks wisdom and finds it not ….”  A foolish woman is arrogant and refuses to listen to others.  Therefore, she loses the ability to hear (MacDonald).  What happens to a person when he loses the ability to hear?  Even if he has two ears to hear, if he continues to refuse to listen to the advice, counsel, or rebuke of other loved ones, he will not only become obsessed with his own righteousness, but will also become a very selfish person who only cares about himself.  If that happens, he will lose all his friends around him.  Who would want to be friends with a selfish person who only thinks about himself?  Furthermore, who would stay around him when he thinks he is the best and the words coming out of his mouth sound so arrogant?  If there is a foolish and arrogant wife in the house, she will refuse to listen to her husband.  As she loses the ability to listen, she will become arrogant, arrogant, and selfish.  Can you imagine the negative influence such a woman would have on her husband and especially on her children?  Verse 6 of our text for today says that such a proud person seeks wisdom but does not find it.  Isn’t that a bit strange?  Isn’t it a bit strange that a proud person who refuses to listen to others and thinks he is right seeks wisdom?  The problem is not the seeking of wisdom itself, but the fact that the one seeking wisdom is proud and does not have the fear of God, which is the foundation of wisdom (1:7; 9:10) (Walvoord).  How can a proud and arrogant person who does not fear God seek wisdom?  The Bible says in Proverbs 16:18: “… A haughty spirit goes before a fall.”  An arrogant and foolish woman who lacks wisdom causes her husband and children to fall.  She is a bad influence on her husband and children, and she will eventually destroy her family with her own hands.

 

 

              Fourth, a foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands has no knowledge.

 

              Look at Proverbs 14:7: “Go away from a fool, for you have not found knowledge in his lips.”  A foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands despises God and is proud and arrogant, so she does not listen to the word of God.  In other words, she uses words and actions that ignore God (Psalms 14:1) (Park).  And because she is proud and does not know anything, she likes to argue and quarrel, which causes jealousy, strife, sabotage, and evil thoughts (1 Timothy 6:4).  If a wife is proud and does not know anything in the house, she will definitely like to argue and quarrel.  The result will be jealousy, strife, sabotage, and evil thoughts, and such a family will not have a day of peace.  However, the problem is that a foolish woman is proud and thinks she has knowledge even though she has no knowledge.  And if she is arrogant and does not listen to anyone's advice and words, what will happen to that family?  The same goes for the church, a spiritual family.  If there is someone who is arrogant and proud, who does not have much knowledge of God, and who likes to argue and argue, that church will inevitably be noisy.  It will not be easy to teach such a person.  The reason is that they are arrogant and do not have the heart to receive instruction.  Therefore, the Bible advises us to turn away from such a fool (Proverbs 14:7).  If we do not turn away from such a fool, we too may become fools who ignore God and destroy our own house.

 

              Fifth, a foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands deceives herself.

              Look at the second half of Proverbs 14:8: “… The folly of a fool is deceit.”  The foolishness of a foolish woman is to ignore God.  In other words, the foolishness of a foolish woman is to think that there is no God (Psalms 53:1).  Therefore, a foolish woman not only does not fear God, but also cannot do it, so she becomes corrupt and commits abominable evil (v. 1).  She not only does not do good, but also cannot do it (vv. 1, 3).  Nevertheless, the foolish woman thinks that her actions are right (Proverbs 12:15).  James 1:22 comes to mind: “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.”  The Bible says that if you only listen to the word of God and do not obey (practice), you are deceiving yourself.  However, a foolish and arrogant woman thinks that there is no God, so she does not even listen to the word of God.  How can a foolish woman who ignores God obey the word of God?  This is deceiving herself.  How can a foolish woman who deceives herself like this build her house (home)?

 

Sixth, a foolish woman who destroys her house with her own hands takes sin lightly.

 

              Look at the first half of Proverbs 14:9: “A fool regards sin lightly, but ….”  A foolish woman does not listen to God’s words because she thinks there is no God, and because she does not listen to God’s words, she does not know the truth.  What happens when she does not know the truth?  A foolish woman does evil because she does not know the truth.  However, she does not consider her sins as sins.  She has lost the ability to do so.  Rather, a foolish woman who does not know the truth and has lost the ability to consider sins as sins “takes pleasure in doing evil” (Proverbs 10:23).  Therefore, a foolish woman’s heart is hardened by sin and she is not afraid to sin against God.  In other words, a foolish woman regards sin lightly.  Clearly, God takes sin seriously, but a foolish woman takes sin lightly.  Dr. Park said, “Those who are ignorant of the Bible do not recognize sin as sin, but rather enjoy it” (Park).  Therefore, she not only does not repent of her sins, but she cannot repent.  The reason is that she does not consider sin as sin, so she does not feel the need to repent.  Therefore, she will continue to live sinning against God.  She will take sin lightly, so she will live a sinful life that has turned away from God’s grace.  And she will live with such a strong heart that she will not be pricked by her conscience even though she commits numerous sins.  What will happen to the house if such a woman is in it?

 

The last thing I want to think about is the wise woman who builds her house.  Look at the first half of Proverbs 14:1: “A wise woman builds her house …”.  Who is the wise woman who builds her house?

 

First, the wise woman who builds her house fears God and acts uprightly.

 

              Look at the first half of Proverbs 14:2: “He who walks uprightly fears the Lord ….”  A wise woman who builds a house fears God.  The reason is that the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom (1:7).  And a wise woman who fears God acts uprightly. So how does a wise woman who fears God and acts uprightly live a life of faith?  Dr. Park mentioned five things (Park): (1) She fears God so as not to commit sins while doing ordinary things.  (2) She lives a devout life in secret and prays vigilantly.  (3) She does not commit sins in her heart.  (4) She is afraid and cautious so as not to leave the Lord in times of peace.  (5) She does not try to avoid it in difficult times, but keeps her righteousness.  A wise woman who fears God and acts honestly never takes sin lightly (v. 9).  Rather, she takes sin seriously because she fears God (v. 9).  Therefore, when she sins against God, she realizes her sin and confesses and repents her sin to God.  Therefore, God gives grace to the woman who fears God and acts honestly (v. 9).  In other words, God willingly accepts (acceptance) a woman who fears God and acts honestly when she repents of her sin and returns to God (Walvoord).  What else is this but God’s grace? (8:35)  If we look at Proverbs 31:30, which we are all familiar with, the Bible says this about a woman who fears God: “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain; but a woman who fears the Lord, she will be praised.”  A wise woman who fears God acts uprightly, and she is praised by God and people.  Through such a woman who fears God, God establishes our families and churches.

 

              Second, the wise woman who builds her house has knowledge in her lips.

 

Look at Proverbs 14:7: “Go away from the presence of a fool, for you do not see knowledge in his lips.”  A wise woman fears God, so she is humble before God and people. And because she is humble, she not only listens well to the voice of God, but also easily gains knowledge by humbly listening to the advice and instruction of the wise (v. 6).  She even humbly listens to the rebuke of the righteous.  Rather, she considers the rebuke of the wise as grace (Psalms 141:5).  Therefore, she welcomes the rebuke of the wise.  The reason is that she knows how to use the rebuke of the wise to her own benefit.  How does she use the rebuke of the wise to her own benefit?  That is why a wise woman benefits from the rebuke of the wise man, because it adds to her own learning (Proverbs 1:5, 9:9).  Look at Proverbs 9:9: “Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be wiser still; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.”  A wise woman who is humble and adds to her learning does not ask for a beating with her mouth like a proud woman (14:3).  Rather, she preserves herself with her lips (v. 3).  In other words, a wise woman speaks when she should speak and is silent when she should be silent, guarding her lips so that they benefit others.  Therefore, she also benefits herself (Park).  Dr. Park said, “A wise man loves others, so he does not slander them, but rather protects them (1 Peter 4:8).  Therefore, others protect him with their words” (Park).  Furthermore, as a faithful witness (Proverbs 14:5), she testifies to the word of God with her lips of knowledge. God builds up the family and the church, the body of the Lord, through these wise women who have knowledge in their lips.

 

Third, a wise woman who builds a house is diligent.

 

Look at Proverbs 14:4: “Where there are no oxen, the manger is clean, but much comes from the strength of the ox.”  Of course, without oxen, the manger is clean. However, without oxen, there is no strength to cultivate the fields.  Therefore, without oxen, there is no great harvest in agriculture.  Therefore, a wise woman buys oxen (money), invests time (time), feeds and washes them, and takes care of them, so that they work diligently together (work) and obtain a rich harvest.  When we read the Bible, we can see that God especially mentions oxen among animals to teach people what they should work hard for.  For example, in Deuteronomy 25:4, the Bible says: “Do not muzzle an ox while it treads out the grain.”  So, Dr. Park said, “The ‘ox’ is a symbol of loyalty and effort” (Park).  In other words, a wise woman is loyal and works hard.  She works hard and diligently, so “she does not lack for her produce” (Proverbs 31:11).  Looking at Proverbs 31:13, the Bible says that a virtuous woman “seeks wool and flax, and works diligently with her hands” (v. 13).  She gets up before dawn to share food with her household and assigns tasks to her maids (v. 15).  She girds her loins with strength and strengthens her arms (v. 17).  She knows that her trade is profitable, and she does not put out her lamp at night (v. 18).  And the Bible says that she “keeps watch over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness (v. 27).  Therefore, her children rise up and give thanks to her, and her husband praises her (v. 28).  Through such wise and diligent women, God establishes families and churches.

 

Fourth and last, the wise woman who builds her house knows her own way.

 

Look at Proverbs 14:8: “The wisdom of the prudent is to know her own way, but the folly of fools is deceit.”  A foolish woman does not fear God and ignores Him, so she does not seek His will and walk the way He wants her to walk. Instead, she walks the way she wants to walk, according to her own will and desires.  This ultimately only reveals her own foolishness.  The reason is that she lives thinking that there is no God (Psalms 53:1).  And this ultimately only leads to deceiving herself.  The reason is that a life apart from God is living a false life apart from the truth.  A foolish woman who deceives herself and reveals her foolishness in this way cannot help but destroy her own family.  However, a wise woman builds her own house. She first knows her own path.  She knows God’s will for her and lives according to God’s will.  In other words, a wise woman knows exactly what she must do according to God’s will and does it (1 Corinthians 7:17) (Park).  One of God’s wills is to build her own house and also to build the church, which is God’s house.  A wise woman knows this will of the Lord and lives humbly according to God’s will in order to fulfill this will of the Lord, being loyal to the Lord and working diligently.  She fears God and lives according to the Lord’s will.  Through such a wise woman, the Lord builds His house.

 

I would like to conclude my meditation on the Word.  When you think of a wise woman who built a house, who comes to mind in the Bible?  I think of Ruth, a Moabite woman from the Book of Ruth.  The Bible calls her a “woman of excellence” (Ruth 3:11).  In a way, Ruth’s family had lost her father-in-law Elimelech, her husband Mahlon, her brother-in-law Chilion, and her sister-in-law Orpah, leaving her widowed mother-in-law Naomi and herself.  Despite being a foreign woman, Ruth followed her mother-in-law Naomi to Bethlehem in Judah, worked hard in Boaz’s field, and eventually married Boaz.  They married and gave birth to Obed, the grandfather of David.  So, Ruth’s name was eventually recorded in Jesus’ genealogy along with Boaz.  What an amazing and great grace!  When I think about this grace, I think that Ruth was truly a virtuous and wise woman.  And she was a woman who longed for grace (2:10), an obedient woman (3:5-6), and a woman who showed kindness (3:10).  Through Ruth, the Lord established the family of Boaz, and through that family, Jesus, the Messiah, was born on this earth, and through Jesus, the church was established.  And the Lord wants to establish the Victory Presbyterian Church, the body of the Lord, through me and you.  Therefore, we must become wise people.  Wise Christians fear God and act honestly.  Wise Christians also have knowledge in their lips.  Wise Christians are diligent.  And wise Christians know their own way and faithfully do what they must do according to the Lord’s will.  I hope that you and I will become wise people who build the Lord’s house in this way.

Thinking of my beloved wife, a wise woman who builds a home by the grace of God,

 

 

James Kim

(February 15, 2012, Serving the family the Lord builds with a joyful heart)