Emotional cheating?

Emotional cheating?

 

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              Until now, I mainly thought that the wrong type of marriage relationship was simply called 'affair' or 'extramarital relationship.'  But the first term I heard was 'emotional cheating.' In Korean, it's translated as '감정 속임수' (emotional cheating).  It was a somewhat unfamiliar term to me, but I remembered a few years ago when a sister in Christ told me that the reason she divorced her husband was because they couldn't form an 'emotional connection.'  And I realized how incredibly important 'emotion' is in a marriage.  I heard the terms 'emotional connection' and 'emotional cheating' from different sisters in Christ, and from the wives' perspective, I realized again how crucial 'emotion' is (since I had never heard such terms from brothers in Christ).  So, as a man, I would like to reflect on the terms 'emotional connection' and 'emotional cheating' from a woman's point of view.  If any of the sisters in Christ reading this think I am misunderstanding or saying something wrong, please let me know in the comments.  Thank you.

 

1.      From the wives' perspective, I believe emotions are very important.  However, since husbands may not prioritize emotions as much as wives do, I think it is difficult for wives to find 'emotional satisfaction' from their husbands in the marriage relationship.

 

2.      As a result, wives are bound to experience 'emotional dissatisfaction' with their husbands, and I believe that this emotional dissatisfaction can accumulate over time.

 

3.      Consequently, I think that wives may reach a breaking point where their emotional dissatisfaction erupts at some point, triggered by a particular event.  Alternatively, from the wives' perspective, there is a high likelihood of experiencing a marriage where the emotional connection with their husbands is broken, leading to a state of indifference or apathy toward the relationship.

 

4.      I believe that when in this emotional state, Satan takes advantage of the opening and sneaks in with a dramatic temptation.  This dramatic temptation leads husbands or wives to feel emotionally attracted to someone of the opposite sex, other than their spouse, and enjoy emotional satisfaction, ultimately resulting in emotional cheating.

 

5.      For example, let’s say there is a wife who has accumulated a lot of emotional dissatisfaction with her husband.  In this case, I think the wife might experience constant conflict with her husband.  At that point, Satan could bring the wife, who is emotionally dissatisfied, and her husband, who is weary from the ongoing conflicts and might not even understand why his wife is emotionally dissatisfied, into contact with another woman at church or work, where the wife is unable to provide the comfort he needs.  This could make the husband seek emotional satisfaction and comfort from the other woman, potentially leading to a sustained relationship.  From the wife’s perspective, she might think her husband is emotionally deceiving her (emotional cheating).  Ultimately, I believe this could escalate into an emotional affair.

 

6.      As a result, the wife will no longer be able to trust her husband and will be forced to continue doubting and being distrustful.  She might even feel betrayed by her husband.

 

7.      As a result, the wife might even consider divorce.

 

8.      So, how can we prevent this from reaching such an extent?

 

9.      First, I believe that the husband (and the wife as well) must stand firm on the truth of God’s Word (the fact), rather than on their feelings (emotions), holding onto His Word and earnestly seeking God in faith.

 

10.   Especially in times of crisis in the marriage, I believe that God will give His (promised) Word to both the husband and wife.  That is, a marital crisis is an opportunity to hear God’s voice.  We must hold onto the word we have received and, with a desperate heart, earnestly seek God.

 

11.   In this context, I believe that especially we husbands must respect our wives' emotions, be sensitive to them, and develop the ability to feel what our wives are feeling (emotional connection and emotional satisfaction).  Of course, this is not easy.  It requires a lot of practice and training.

 

12.   Therefore, I believe we husbands must engage in conversations with our wives at the emotional level, feeling what they feel, and ultimately upgrade the conversation to the fact level.  In other words, our goal as husbands is to love our wives, trying to feel together, and ultimately to nurture our wives with God’s Word.  So, emotions (Feeling) should not come first, but we should lead our wives with the truth of God’s Word, which is the fact (Fact).

 

13.   Therefore, I believe that when a couple is led by the truth of God’s Word, with emotions being rich within the boundaries of that truth, their relationship in the Lord should be firm and abundant.

 

14.   In my opinion, emotions that are not based on the truth of God’s Word or emotions that go beyond the boundaries of truth are not beneficial to the marital relationship and can rather pose a great risk of harm.  I believe they risk causing a crack in the marital bond.

 

15.   Therefore, we must elevate our emotions in a healthy way, based on God’s truth, so that as a couple, we are connected through His Word (The Word-connection) and establish a healthy emotional connection, continually raising our emotional satisfaction in faith.