As I am watching a Korean
drama called
‘The Qualification of a
Wife’ …
I’ve been watching a drama called ‘The Qualifications of a Wife’
recently. The title is '아내의 자격' (The Qualifications of a Wife), but I keep
reading it as '아내의 저격' (The Sniping of a Wife) which sounds similar
in Korean. Haha. Rather than sharing my thoughts about the
drama itself, I’d like to reflect on why, as a husband, I feel the need for my
wife’s 'sniping' (?)—a bit of a personal thought.
I’ve mentioned in my seminary alumni pastors' group chat (with 18
members) that my wife is a 'sniper,' and there’s a reason for this:
The first reason is that I believe her 'sniping' is incredibly accurate
in my opinion.
For example, a few years ago, I asked my wife for her evaluation of my
sermon, and I still remember her response. She told me that she thought it would be
better if I preached my Sunday sermon at the Wednesday prayer meeting and
preached my Wednesday prayer meeting sermon on Sunday. Haha. I was quite surprised by that answer. The reason is that I felt she had made an
accurate diagnosis. The reason I thought
so is that at the time, I was preaching from the book of Proverbs at the
Wednesday prayer meeting, and my wife felt it would be better if I preached
that sermon on Sunday instead. I
couldn’t disagree with her, and I also couldn’t disagree with her suggestion of
preaching the Sunday sermon at the Wednesday prayer meeting because, as she
said, the people who attend the Wednesday prayer meeting are generally more
committed and dedicated, so I thought it would be easier for them to digest the
Sunday sermon. But I was doing the
opposite. I thought I needed to preach
more simply and for a wider audience on Sunday, while preaching at the
Wednesday prayer meeting in a way that suited the level of the committed
attendees. I couldn’t disagree with my
wife’s point of view on this. After
hearing her answer, I couldn’t help but agree, and that’s why I was often
surprised by the accuracy of my wife’s 'sniping.' Haha. (Since then, I don’t
remember asking my wife how my sermon went on any given day. Haha. I think the reason is that, rather than being
afraid of her accurate diagnosis, I wanted to avoid facing my own shortcomings
that I couldn’t fix, even though I knew about them).
The second reason is
that my wife’s 'sniping,' with its high accuracy, pricks my conscience.
And although it’s not easy at the moment, it is ultimately beneficial
for me because it challenges me. For
example, I remember when we were newly married, and as my wife got to know me,
there were times when she 'sniped' at aspects of my faith that resembled the
Pharisee-like attitude. Of course, in
the moment of being 'sniped' at, I didn’t want to admit it, I wanted to deny
it, and I resisted accepting it. But as
I reflect on it now, I realize that, instead of genuinely repenting and
striving to become a true follower of Jesus, becoming more like Him in my faith
and life, I didn’t do that at the time. I didn’t truly repent. It was only through my wife’s 'sniping' that
the hypocrisy within me was brought to light, but I didn’t take it seriously
enough to repent.
The third reason is that
the Lord is shaping me through the high accuracy of my beloved wife’s loving
'sniping.'
Just as the Lord is the potter, shaping me—a vessel full of flaws and
imperfections, needing to be refined—one of the purposes for which He gave me
such a beloved wife is to use her 'sniping' to shape me, to refine me, and to
help me become more like Jesus. I
believe this is a great grace, a work, and a love that He is bestowing upon me.
That’s why, as I watch this drama called ‘The Qualifications of a Wife,’
I keep reading the title as ‘The Sniping of a Wife.’ Haha.
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