Selfish heart

Selfish heart

 

 

 

 

“Our fundamental problem is not ignorance of what is right.  Our problem is selfishness of heart that causes us to care more about what we want than about what is right.” [Paul David Tripp, “What did you Expect?”]

 

 

 

In this sinful world, when a sinner man marries a sinner woman, how can they not sin in their relationship as a couple?  The root of the sins that the couple commits is pride.  That is, the sin that these two proud sinners commit against God is the disobedience to God's commandments.  They are proud and do not keep Jesus' twofold commandment: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” and “Love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:37, 39).  They do not love God and their neighbor.  Because they do not love God, they not only fail to love their neighbor with God's love, but they are also unable to do so.  Their love for their neighbor is the love of a sinful human, and the bitter root of that love is selfishness.

 

The issue is that even though we Christians have been forgiven and saved by God's total grace in Jesus Christ, the bitter root of selfishness, which is the love of sinful humans, still exists in our hearts.  Although "the love of God has been poured into our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us" (Romans 5:5), and we have become new people in Christ Jesus (2 Corinthians 5:17), we do love God and also love our neighbors (Luke 10:27), our old self refuses to live according to the guidance of the Holy Spirit and continues to devise works of the flesh, still loving our neighbors with selfish hearts.  This selfish heart makes us focus on what we want rather than what is right, so instead of doing what is right in God's sight, we build relationships with others based on our own desires.  Among all these relationships, I believe the one where our selfish hearts are most apparent is in the marriage relationship.  The reason I believe this is that the purpose of God, the Potter, who, in His sovereignty, pairs a man and a woman together to live, is to have two different individuals become one flesh in the Lord.  Therefore, the Holy Spirit is bearing the fruit of love in those two people (Galatians 5:22).  Thus, the Holy Spirit gradually sanctifies the couple, enabling them to love each other more and more with God's love.  In this process of sanctification, the Holy Spirit is gradually helping us to cast off our old, selfish nature that seeks to act according to our own desires, rather than what the Lord desires and even what our spouse desires.  The Holy Spirit first brings to the surface our selfish hearts in our marital relationship.  Husband and wife each pursue what they want, rather than what the Lord wants or what the other spouse wants.  As a result, the two selfish "kingdoms" — the husband's and the wife's — collide with each other, producing the bitter fruit of conflict, disputes, wounds, and pain.  But the amazing thing is that God, our Potter, uses even the sinful, bitter fruits of our actions to mold us like clay.  Through this, He causes us to confess and repent of our selfish hearts, enabling us to love God with one heart and to love one another with an unselfish heart.  What else could this be but God's grace?

 

God is making His grace overflow even more where sin abounds (Romans 5:20).  God has paired two selfish sinners together, sanctifying us, and using our conflicts, wounds, and pains to lead us, through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, to love one another with God’s love.  Specifically, God teaches us the sacrificial love of Jesus Christ on the cross, enabling us to cast off our selfish hearts and love each other with Christ's selfless heart.  The purpose of this is that God desires to establish His Kingdom in our home.  In establishing His Kingdom among us, God has given us the commandment of His Kingdom: “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind, and love your neighbor as yourself” (Luke 10:27).  We must obey this commandment.  All Christian couples must obey this commandment and build Christ-centered homes.  Therefore, through the Christ-centered homes that the Lord establishes, we pray that His Church and His Kingdom will be firmly built on the rock.

 

               

 

 

 

 

Praying to continually cast off selfishness and love the wife that God has paired me with, with a selfless heart,

 

 

 

 

James Kim

(July 29, 2014, Living with my beloved wife Jane by God's grace)