Emotional intimacy

Emotional intimacy

 

 

 

The article titled "Ways You Can Rebuild Emotional Intimacy In Your Marriage" talks about the importance of emotional intimacy in marriage.  In the past, I didn’t fully understand the significance of emotional intimacy between spouses.  However, now I realize the importance of emotional closeness in a marriage.  This realization came from seeing close sisters around me struggle in their relationships with their husbands due to a lack of emotional intimacy, with some even going through divorce.  As a result, I would like to reflect on and apply the three methods mentioned in the article to rebuild emotional intimacy in marriage: (1) "Communicate through touch," (2) "Express empathy," and (3) "Don’t be afraid to show vulnerability."

 

1.      I prioritize 'faith intimacy' over 'emotional intimacy' in my relationship with my wife.  Therefore, I share the 'facts' of the truth of God's Word with her.  For example, when I meditate on God's Word and receive grace from a particular passage, I share it with my wife.  At those moments, when I catch a glimpse of how the Lord is working in our lives through His Word, I share it with her.  Specifically, when I see how the Lord is working in the lives of our three children, I share that with her in gratitude and joy.  As she acknowledges in faith how the Lord is working in our children's lives, we, as a couple, empathize, recognize, and give thanks to God together.

 

2.      I am seeking 'heart intimacy' with my wife.  This means I open up my heart and share my feelings honestly with her.  I also share my vulnerabilities with her.  For example, when I remember and pray for our beloved children, I often share the feelings that the Lord gives me with her.  When I talk about my heart concerning our children, my wife and I open our hearts to each other because we love them, and we discuss our children together.  Tonight, I will also open my heart to my wife and share the insights and feelings that the Lord gave me about our children during Sunday morning.  This kind of sharing allows us to look at our three children with one heart in the Lord and helps us understand each other's hearts even more."

3.      I am pursuing 'sexual intimacy' with my wife while also seeking 'emotional intimacy.'  The reason for pursuing both simultaneously is because of the differences between men and women.  A man wants to seek sexual intimacy with his wife, while a woman wants to seek emotional intimacy with her husband.  Of course, this doesn't mean that a woman doesn't desire sexual intimacy with her husband.  Likewise, it doesn't mean that a man doesn't want emotional intimacy with his wife.  Even though there are clear differences between men and women, a man, too, sometimes wants to open his heart and share his feelings with his beloved wife (even though it may not happen often).  When this happens, if the wife doesn't empathize with her husband's feelings and responds logically, the husband can feel lonely (Perhaps, women may experience this loneliness even more and more frequently than men).  In my case, recently, I shared with my wife my genuine feelings about the sudden death of my friend, thinking about his wife and mother.  My heart was aching, and I almost cried.  However, the timing wasn't ideal, as my wife was on the phone handling work matters.  Perhaps my wife also thought that when she shared her feelings with me, I couldn't empathize with her emotions, and she felt that I didn't understand her.  In this way, my wife and I often fail to pursue emotional intimacy and make mistakes.  But even so, as we pursue intimacy in faith and in heart, we are still striving for emotional intimacy, albeit imperfectly.  I don’t think our marriage is difficult because we are not emotionally connected (this is my perspective).  However, I am beginning to realize that I need to learn more and make a greater effort to pursue emotional connection and intimacy with my wife in our marriage.