"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정 다스려라 부모의 감정이 무엇보다 자녀의 감정에 큰 영향을 미친다 / 셔터스톡 부모라면 자녀의 감정을 존중하는 것의 중요성에 대해 들어봤을 것이다. 하지만 부모인 당신의 감정은 어떠한가? 임상 사회 복지사이자 심리 치료사인 힐러리 제이콥스 헨델과 심리학자이자 양육 교육자인 줄리 프라가 박사는 신간, 『부모도 감정이 있다(Parents Have Feelings, Too)』에서 통념을 뒤집었다. 즉, 정서적으로 건강한 아이를 양육할 수 있도록 하기 위해선 먼저 부모 자신의 감정을 다스릴 줄 알아야 한다는 것이 핵심 메시지다. 이들이 부모들에게 어떤 조언을 했는지 CNN과 함께 알아본다. 부모에게 가장 중요한 감정, '분노' 헨델은 부모가 다뤄야 할 6가지 핵심 감정으로 ▲분노 ▲슬픔 ▲두려움 ▲혐오 ▲기쁨 ▲흥분을 꼽았다. 그러면서 ‘분노’를 가장 중요한 핵심 감정으로 보았다. 그녀는 “분노는 파괴적인 잠재력을 가지고 있기 때문에 사람들을 곤경에 빠뜨리는 감정이며, 그래서 우리는 대개 그것을 묻어버린다. 그런데 이때 분노는 안으로 폭발하여 우울, 죄책감, 불안, 수치심으로 나타날 수 있다. 혹은 밖으로 폭발하여 공격성으로 표출될 수 있다.”고 설명했다. 중요한 것은 분노를 ‘행동’으로 옮기지 않고 ‘경험’하는 방법을 배우는 것이다. 이는 분노에 이름을 붙이고, 신체에서 어떻게 느껴지는지 알아차리고, 그 순간의 충동이 무엇인지를 인식하며, 궁극적으로는 그 에너지를 방출하는 것을 포함하는 내면의 과정이다. 이에 더해 헨델은 분노를 두 개의 분리된 단계로 이해할 필요성을 말했다. 분노를 경험하는 내적인 과정과 스스로와 가족에게 건설적인 방식으로 분노를 표현하는 외적인 과정이 그것이다. 한편, 프라가 박사는 엄마와 달리, 아빠들의 경우 ‘분노’라는 감정처리에 더욱 익숙하지 않다고 지적했다. 하지만 아빠들...
A truly happy person is someone who knows Jesus correctly, makes a proper confession of faith, and lives a right life of faith.
A truly happy person is someone who knows Jesus
correctly,
makes a proper confession of faith, and lives a
right life of faith.
On His
journey through the villages of Caesarea Philippi, Jesus asked His disciples
two questions: (1) "Who do people say I am?" and (2) "But what
about you? Who do you say I am?" The
disciples' answer to the first question was, "Some say John the Baptist;
others say Elijah; and still others, one of the prophets." Peter's answer to the second question was,
"You are the Christ" (Mark 8:27-29, Korean Modern Bible). In a similar passage in Matthew 16 (Ref.: Luke
9:18-21), when responding to the first question, the disciples added,
"Some say Jeremiah or one of the prophets," and to Peter's answer to
the second question, he said, "... the Son of the living God"
(Matthew 16:14, 16, Korean Modern Bible). Additionally, in Matthew 16, there is a
statement Jesus made to Peter: "Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah, for
this was not revealed to you by man, but by my Father in heaven. And I tell you that you are Peter, and on this
rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades will not overcome it. I will give you the keys of the kingdom of
heaven; whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you
loose on earth will be loosed in heaven" (vv. 17-19, Korean Modern Bible).
"Then Jesus warned His disciples
not to tell anyone that He was the Christ" (v 20, Korean Modern Bible; Ref.:
Mark 8:30, Korean Modern Bible). As I
meditate on this passage, I have several thoughts:
(1) Why did Jesus ask His disciples, “Who do people
say I am?” in the region of Caesarea Philippi, among so many other places? I was able to speculate on the reason by
referring to the Chokmah commentary: "The inhabitants of this area were
mostly Gentiles and idol worshipers. Among
them, the natives worshiped Baal, and the Greek-speaking people built a temple
to the god Pan, who was considered the god of the forests and wild beasts. Herod also built a temple to the emperor
Augustus here to flatter him. In this
land of idols, Jesus required His disciples to make a proper confession of
faith" (Chokmah).
(2) Why did people say Jesus was "John the
Baptist," "Elijah," or "one of the prophets" (Mark
8:28), "Jeremiah" (Matthew 16:14), or "one of the old prophets
who has come back to life" (Luke 9:19)? When I consider that some people said Jesus
was "John the Baptist," I am reminded of King Herod. When he heard rumors about Jesus, he said to
his servants, "This is John the Baptist. He has come back to life, and
that's why he has the power to perform miracles" (Matthew 14:1-2, Korean
Modern Bible). "The Jews confused
Jesus with John the Baptist because, like the Tetrarch Herod Philip (14:1-2),
they remembered the power and explosive spirit of John’s ministry when they saw
Jesus' ability and the works He performed. This confusion also stemmed from the mistaken
resurrection belief held by the Jews, who thought John the Baptist had come
back to life" (Chokmah).
(3) Why did Jesus ask His disciples, “But who do you
say I am?” I believe the meaning behind
this question is that Jesus was indicating that the responses from the
people—“John the Baptist,” “Elijah,” “Jeremiah,” “one of the prophets,” or “one
of the old prophets who has come back to life”—were all incorrect. That is why Jesus asked His 12 disciples, “But
who do you say I am?” Similarly, I
believe that today many people still do not truly understand who Jesus is and
are mistaken about Him. Even those who
attend church may not fully know who Jesus is. That is why I was led to reflect again on
Philippians 3:7-11 in Korean Modern Bible: "But whatever was to my profit
I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss
compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose
sake I have lost all things. I consider
them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a
righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through
faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of His
resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings, becoming like Him
in His death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the
dead."
(4) Simon Peter answered, “You are the Christ, the
Son of the living God” (Matthew 16:16, Korean Modern Bible). This confession of faith by Peter is “one of
the most perfect confessions about Lord Jesus, and it is the core of the
Christian creed. The reason is that this
confession includes both the humanity of Jesus (“the Christ”) and His divinity
(“the Son of God”), the purpose of Jesus coming to this earth, and His
essential identity” (Chokmah). Jesus
promised to build “His church” upon this confession of faith made by Peter
(Matthew 16:18, Calvin). However, the
Antichrist and liars deny that Jesus is the Christ (His humanity) and that
Jesus is the Son of God (His divinity) (1 John 1:22). Today, the spirit of the Antichrist, the enemy
of Christ, the spirit of lies [“the spirit of deception” (Korean Modern Bible)]
does not acknowledge that Jesus came in the flesh (4:2-3, 6).
(5) To Peter, who made this confession of faith,
Jesus said, “Blessed are you, Simon son of Jonah. For this was not revealed to you by man, but
by my Father in heaven” (Matthew 16:17, Korean Modern Bible). Truly blessed is the person who knows Jesus
correctly, makes a proper confession of faith, and lives out that faith
correctly. Our Father in heaven has
revealed to us who Jesus is, and the Spirit of truth leads us into all truth
(John 16:13). Therefore, as we are
taught by the Holy Spirit, we should always live in Christ, as the Holy Spirit
guides us (1 John 2:27).
(6) Jesus said that He would build His church on the
revealed truth about Christ, who is the rock (1 Corinthians 10:4), and because
of this, "the gates of Hades" will not overcome it (Matthew 16:18). Here, "the gates of Hades" refers to
"the power of death" (Chokmah). The reason is that Jesus rose again from the
dead. "Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting? The sting of death is sin, and the power of
sin is the law. But thanks be to God! He
gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ" (1 Corinthians
15:55-57). God will receive us and save
our souls from the power of death (Psalms 49:15).
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