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"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정을 다스려라"

"자녀를 건강한 아이로 키우려면? 부모 자신부터 감정 다스려라   부모의 감정이 무엇보다 자녀의 감정에 큰 영향을 미친다 / 셔터스톡 부모라면 자녀의 감정을 존중하는 것의 중요성에 대해 들어봤을 것이다.  하지만 부모인 당신의 감정은 어떠한가? 임상 사회 복지사이자 심리 치료사인 힐러리 제이콥스 헨델과 심리학자이자 양육 교육자인 줄리 프라가 박사는 신간, 『부모도 감정이 있다(Parents Have Feelings, Too)』에서 통념을 뒤집었다.  즉, 정서적으로 건강한 아이를 양육할 수 있도록 하기 위해선 먼저 부모 자신의 감정을 다스릴 줄 알아야 한다는 것이 핵심 메시지다. 이들이 부모들에게 어떤 조언을 했는지 CNN과 함께 알아본다.  부모에게 가장 중요한 감정, '분노' 헨델은 부모가 다뤄야 할 6가지 핵심 감정으로  ▲분노 ▲슬픔 ▲두려움 ▲혐오 ▲기쁨 ▲흥분을 꼽았다. 그러면서 ‘분노’를 가장 중요한 핵심 감정으로 보았다.  그녀는 “분노는 파괴적인 잠재력을 가지고 있기 때문에 사람들을 곤경에 빠뜨리는 감정이며, 그래서 우리는 대개 그것을 묻어버린다. 그런데 이때 분노는 안으로 폭발하여 우울, 죄책감, 불안, 수치심으로 나타날 수 있다. 혹은 밖으로 폭발하여 공격성으로 표출될 수 있다.”고 설명했다.  중요한 것은 분노를 ‘행동’으로 옮기지 않고 ‘경험’하는 방법을 배우는 것이다.  이는 분노에 이름을 붙이고, 신체에서 어떻게 느껴지는지 알아차리고, 그 순간의 충동이 무엇인지를 인식하며, 궁극적으로는 그 에너지를 방출하는 것을 포함하는 내면의 과정이다.  이에 더해 헨델은 분노를 두 개의 분리된 단계로 이해할 필요성을 말했다. 분노를 경험하는 내적인 과정과 스스로와 가족에게 건설적인 방식으로 분노를 표현하는 외적인 과정이 그것이다.  한편, 프라가 박사는 엄마와 달리, 아빠들의 경우 ‘분노’라는 감정처리에 더욱 익숙하지 않다고 지적했다.  하지만 아빠들...

Therefore, today I praise God's goodness.

Therefore, today I praise God's goodness.

 

 

As Jesus was walking, a man ran up to Him, knelt down, and asked, “Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?”  Jesus replied, “Why do you call me good?  No one is good except God alone” (Mark 10:17-18, Modern Korean Bible; see also Matthew 19:16-17; Luke 10:25).  As I meditate on this passage, today I want to reflect on the words, “Why do you call me good?  No one is good except God alone.”:

 

(1)   I believe that God is always good.  Psalms 136:1 says, “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever.”

 

(2)   I believe that God's will for us is always good.  Romans 12:2 says, “Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.  Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing, and perfect will.”

 

(3)   I believe that "in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28).  Here, "all things" refers to both good and bad things.   An example of the good is "glory," while an example of the bad is "suffering" (v. 17).  Therefore, "all things" encompass both "glory" and "suffering."   The "glory" refers to "the glory that will be revealed in us" in the future, while the suffering refers to the present suffering of "those who love God and are called according to His purpose" (v. 28).  This "suffering" is the "tribulation, distress, persecution, famine, nakedness, danger, or sword" (v. 35) that attempts to "separate us from the love of Christ" and the suffering that leads us to be "counted as sheep to be slaughtered" (v. 36).  God works through these "sufferings" to bring about "good," and here "good" refers to the highest/ultimate good, which is the final goal of salvation.  The final goal of salvation is our "glory" (v. 28).  This "glory" is "not only that God raised us up with Christ but also seated us with Him in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 2:6, Modern Korean Bible).  God has already "glorified" us, those who "love God and are called according to His purpose" (Romans 8:28), and has "seated us with Him in the heavenly realms" (Ephesians 2:6, Modern Korean Bible) [from the "already" perspective], and He will also "glorify" us in the future (Romans 8:18) [from the "not-yet" perspective] (Chang Seh Kim).

 

(4)   I have tasted God's goodness.  This is from the first part of Psalms 34:8: “Taste and see that the Lord is good. ….”   This verse was brought to my mind by the Holy Spirit dwelling in me when my wife and I were having our wedding ceremony with God about 28 years ago.   At that time, I had met my beloved wife about 6 months earlier, and as I reflected on how we had come to be married after these 6 months, many memories came to mind like a video.   In the midst of this, the Holy Spirit made me realize (taste) God's goodness.  And so, I couldn't help but shed tears of gratitude at that moment.

 

(5)   I believe that “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever” (Psalms 23:6).  Our God is good (Psalms 86:5).  God's will for us is also good (Romans 12:2).  God works all things together for good (Romans 8:28).  Because God's good hand is with us (Nehemiah 2:8, 18), His good will will certainly be accomplished on this earth.  Therefore, we must taste and see God's goodness (Psalms 34:8).  Since God’s goodness truly follows us, we will surely dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalms 23:6).  God is love (1 John 4:8, 16).  God loved us before the foundation of the world (v. 19; Romans 8:29; Ephesians 1:4).  God chose us before the foundation of the world (Ephesians 1:4) to save us and give us eternal life (John 3:16).  He sent His only Son, Jesus, to this earth (Galatians 4:4), and through His crucifixion, He confirmed His love for us (Romans 5:8).  Because of this love, God's saving love (mercy) truly follows us, and we will surely dwell in the house of the Lord forever (Psalms 23:6).

 

(6)   Therefore, I praise the "God is So Good."  This is from Psalms 147:1: "Hallelujah! Praise the Lord, for it is good to sing praises to our God; it is pleasant and fitting to do so."  Those who taste and know God's goodness (Psalms 34:8) cannot help but praise Him.  Especially those who have experienced God's good work, as stated in Romans 8:28, "We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose," cannot help but praise His goodness.  That is why we praise "God is So Good."  Even though we may see someone grieving over the death of a loved one, we can still praise God's goodness because of the hope we have in the Lord.  The reason is that we believe that through His sovereign providence, God will reveal His goodness even through these difficult circumstances.  Surely, the good God will turn our sorrow into joy. Therefore, today I praise God's goodness.

https://youtu.be/meIcbyaE-Ns?si=_U_EFOSglUX9BWwB

 

(7)   And I always want to live seeking good.  This is from 1 Thessalonians 5:15 in the Modern Korean Bible: "Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always strive to do what is good for each other and for everyone else."  In this world where good and evil coexist, as a Christian who believes in Jesus, I must not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good (Romans 12:21).  Paul instructed us not to repay evil for evil (1 Thessalonians 5:15).  Whether in the church or outside of it, I must not do evil to anyone.  The reason is that I have been created in Christ Jesus for good works (Ephesians 2:10).  The Bible tells us not to repay evil with evil or insult with insult, but to bless instead (1 Peter 3:9).  Paul also instructed us to always pursue what is good, whether we are dealing with one another or with all people (1 Thessalonians 5:15).  Joseph, when his brothers intended to harm him, realized that God turned their actions into good to fulfill His sovereign will.  Therefore, he comforted his brothers, who even sought to kill him, by saying that he would take care of them and their children (Genesis 50:20-21).  Because Joseph had tasted God's goodness (Psalms 34:8), he was able to show kindness to the very brothers who had intended to harm him.


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